subs’ world

travels through the world of submission & mental illness .

Hi, I’m Kitten Payne the Practical submissive. Here I discuss my experiences as a submissive, specifically as the relate to mental health.

How many ways can my anxiety count the days?

Content note for self-harm One-day, two-day, three-day, eighty. It seems ironic that my mental health would take a nosedive in May: Mental Health Awareness Month. During this time, I am more cognizant of possible mental health issues, reading articles, meditating, and writing about mental health more. However, as time ticks on, I am aware that… Continue reading →

The Justified Beating?

I identify as submissive and only play with one person: my Dom. However, I was recently asked to top someone for a very specific scene. I declined. Not for the reason you may think. This was a unique situation. This person was struggling with submission and needed the catharsis. I understand the need for purging;… Continue reading →

I am chaos. You can’t handle my chaos.

It’s almost impossible for anyone other than a therapist to handle my anxiety. If you were to see us at events, I appear the sweet submissive, fifties housewife. I look put together and polished, exhibiting proper protocols, always collected, calm and self-assured. What you don’t see is the churning chaos under the surface. That possibility… Continue reading →

The effects of social distancing on my anxiety.

I get to work from home!  I was relieved, and maybe a little excited to be given permission to disconnect socially for the foreseeable future. It meant I would be avoiding the daily onslaught of people and things that influenced my ability to manage my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Lacking a commute meant sleeping in,… Continue reading →

It hurts

Today it hurts My mental illness tries to own me The anxiety throws me into the undertow The depression drags me under I worry if Sir will see me struggling and pull me out Will He notice or will I quietly slip away Then He takes my hand He grabs my collar He looks into… Continue reading →

Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.